This is Hannah writing - as I am sitting here, thinking about my "to-do" list and all the money we need to raise to pursue this adoption, I point-blank ask myself - "Why exactly do I want this SO bad?"

One thing that instantly come to mind is (call me crazy and weird and hormonal) I am young. I am 25 and I think it's natural for me to "want" babies. Sadly, I had to have a hysterectomy at the age of 23 (3 months after Benji was born - I actually had my hysterectomy on his due date) Joe and I have always tried to be positive about the hysterectomy and joke around about being one of the youngest women to have the surgery or how jealous all my friends are that I no longer have a monthly visitor and all the money we save since we're not buying products and stocking up on chocolate. We can joke and tease all we want - but behind our smile is a broken heart. Why would God allow this? Joe and I deeply desire to have a large family. We absolutely love kids. Why would He give us this desire, this feeling as though we are not yet complete, if He was planning on taking this away from us? We desperately want more children despite the fact that we are beyond blessed to already have 3, beautiful biological children - a gift denied to many. We are truly amazed and grateful to have the 3 miracles we do. Upon completion of my hysterectomy, the Dr told me he was surprised I was able to carry children at all. Praise God we had children right after we were married while I was still so young - He knew what He was doing! God doesn't create any "ooooops" babies!

So, now what? No baby-maker! Well, there's always adoption! A very real and present need. An option Joe and I have always discussed as a possibility. There are so many kids out there who desperately need someone to love them. I have often thought that perhaps God took my uterus so that we would "have" to grow our family through adoption - otherwise, we might not consider it. This leads me to believe, we are meant to adopt!!!

And of course, another thing heavy on my heart is THE NEED. Why do we want to adopt? Is it merely selfish motives? I would say not. Our hearts are very tender towards the topic of adoption. I have everything I could ever need, food, clothing, shelter, health care, a family....and we have enough of our own to be able to share with others. We want to help. We want to meet a need. We want to make a difference. I know I harp on the special needs aspect often, but it's so true.....WHO is going to care for these precious ones? If not us, who????

One more thought and I'll be done - Keep in mind, that Joe and I feel as though we are expecting :) We are excited and are greatly anticipating the arrival of our new little one. Please join us in our excitement!!!! We know some many have their own hesitations or concerns. Trust us when we say that Joe and I are not pursing this lightly. We know exactly what we are doing. We want others to ask us about the adoption - it's not a private topic to us. We want to talk about it - this is the closest we will have get to being pregnant again and we want to enjoy every step of the way, even the hardest part of all - waiting. At this point, we are set in our course - so we kindly ask that you offer only supportive, encouraging comments.

Looking forward to Thursday's Home Visit and being one step closer to our new addition!

~Hannah