We had our last adoption meeting before our home visit last night...the date for our home visit is September 13th. I know I have nothing to hide, but you KNOW I will be cleaning like a mad woman that week! Basically, the social worker is coming to check and make sure we have adequate space and that we are capable of providing a safe and clean environment for an adoptive child. This is really the last big step before we submit our HS (Home Study) to be placed on the active, waiting list. In the mean time, we need to have health exams (we all have well-visits scheduled) and we need to have some documents notarized. Also, we need to pay the HS fee of $1,300 on the day of our home visit...that's less then 3 weeks away! PLEASE pray with us that the funds are there. Once we pay this initial fee, we can begin applying for grants and other financial aide. Our HS is moving at an unexpectedly quick pace....unfortunately, we will be a stand-still if we cannot provide the HS fee. We were so encouraged to receive our first donation last week! We are trusting that God will provide the rest!
We wanted to take the time to answer a few questions and concerns that have come-up since our announcement to adopt. Let's begin by discussing the financial aspect.
"Why so expensive?" The estimated $30,000 is a TON of money....we know that...and the adoption agency knows that. But it can be done! We talked more last night at the meeting about fees and such. Every penny has a purpose. Below is a list of the things that we as the adoptive couple will be responsible for paying:
1.) Agency fees - including the HS fee
2.) Pre/Post adoptive parent counseling
3.) Medical care of birth mother and infant at birth
4.) Legal Fees
5.) Housing for birth mother or interim care for infant if necessary
6.) Traveling costs (if applicable)
We are paying not only for our services, but also for the services of the birth mother. Why are we doing this? Because we are Pro-Life and what better way to support LIFE then to enable it. We are thrilled that our adoptive baby's mother chose to give our future baby a chance at life. We are making it possible for that mother to care for herself and our baby.
"Why a baby? Why special needs?" We are pro-life.....and not just for healthy infants, we are 100% PRO-LIFE. We believe every life has value and that those with special needs are a valuable and wanted part of the community. If there is no one to care for these babies, how would a mother be persuaded to choose life for her child? We want to show the world that "Benji's" are worth fighting for! They are worth loving. They are worth sacrificing for. We are hoping that by proving that people can and do adopt special needs infants, that more will follow suit and that more birth mothers will choose life for their unborn babies.
"So, why not foster to adopt? It's virtually free!!!" I wish our simple answer of "We know the course we have chosen is what we are meant to do!" would suffice. However, our peace of mind and determination to follow our set path has not limited concerns and questioning from friends and family. So, I will attempt to answer the question in more detail. Mainly, Joe and I are looking for a permanent addition to our family. With foster to adopt, there is no guarantee and it can takes years to have that guarantee. As a result, I am not sure our hearts are ready to tackle the emotional burdens associated. As well, in New York the state purposefully makes every attempt to reunite the family. Even when individuals ask about "foster to adopt" they will strongly push them toward foster care alone. While this is a course that Joe and I hope to take someday, we do not feel led to go this route presently. We feel very strongly that we are making the right choice - no doubt it's a faith-based decision! We clearly don't have $$$ lying around! But we are honestly, truly trusting Got to provide.
If you feel led to help us on our journey, please do. Any and all support is greatly appreciated. Joe and I see this as a ministry of our family and we are excited to see how God uses us to bless and blesses us in return!
We do appreciate your continued encouragement and support as we tackle this challenge! We are beyond excited! Please feel free to write comments or questions!
***Don't forget to pass the word....you could be the one to link us to a potential birth mom! If you know/hear of someone interested in placing their child for adoption, direct them to our blog!***
It is our hope to be approved and ready to adopt by this October!
Friday, August 17, 2012
I read this comment today in concern to someone who is contrary to adoption.
"We are to care for orphans and widows- that’s a Biblical mandate. But
Christ did not tell us we had to adopt them into our family"
Doesn't that sound counter-intuitive? There seems to be a line which is
drawn which says that I will only go so far. You are over here and my
family is here. Aren't we supposed to live a life of sacrifice? How
can we truly love them and meet their needs if we are afraid of getting
our hands dirty?
The viewpoint listed above is not consistent with the love that Christ has shown. It is a good thing that God didn't say that about us...I will take care of them, but I will not adopt them into my family...they will just mess the whole thing up...
No, God adopted us as his children and as a result we are coheirs with Christ.
My only regret is that we don't have the resources to adopt all the children who are in need. We have the home and the structure in place. The hard part is meeting the costs associated with the actual adoption.
If you feel led, and only if you feel led, please consider partnering with us to help bring a child into our home. We want to meet their needs and love them as we have felt loved by our families. How selfish it would be of us to close our home to a child who needs one.
Monday, August 13, 2012
“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.” - Psalms 68:5-6
How can we ever forget that we were once distant from God? That it was His love for us that allows us to be considered His children. God did not have to send His Son, yet He did so because he was compelled with love. Love is not an open word which can be described in different ways. It is specific, with real action.
Even more, we can clearly see through Scripture that God is an advocate for those who are orphans. And He has chosen us, His Body, to be His hands and His feet to care for those who have no one. When we fail to reach out beyond ourselves, then we are failing to show the same love that Christ has shown us. I am not saying that every family should adopt children (even though it would be pretty cool if there wasn’t a need because the Church was meeting every one). What I am saying is that we should look outside of our environment and look to the world around us asking how we can show the love of Christ.
And perhaps, by meeting these physical and emotional needs, they will see that there is something different about us. Something that is giving when there seems nothing left to give…Something that keeps going even when it hurts. And then they will perhaps recognize that what separates, that which makes us peculiar from the rest of the world, is the love of our Savior within us.
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. Eph 3:14-21